Sick with the Plague
So I stayed home sick today. I’m sitting here, hacking up the thickest, nastiest phlegm you’ve ever seen. Surely this is the Big One.
I’ve seen enough end-of-the-world movies to know better. The progression of the Plague is always the same. Protagonist has a great life, great wife, great kids, good job. One day, he’s feeling fine. Goes to gym, nothing out of the usual. He walks up to the water fountain and takes a drink. {cut to camera zoom shot on the man’s hand as it presses the very public water nozzle}
But by that evening, he’s feeling just a little bit off. His nose is running. His body is beginning to ache. He goes to bed.
By the next morning, he wakes up feeling really, really bad. He’s coughing and feverish. His skin is on fire, but he’s freezing. He can’t move his feet, they’re so numb. And the phlegm, my god, the phlegm! Green, brown, and a little bloody. It sprays out of his head when he sneezes.
Yep, this is the Big One. The super flu. The contagion to end all plagues. This is ground zero for the zombie apocalypse and somehow I’m the lucky one to spread it. Of course, I might just be exaggerating a bit. Rather than a case of the End Times Flu, I might have just come down with a mild form of hypochondria — no doubt exacerbated by watching too many apocalyptic plague movies on my sick day.
No related posts.
